Do you encounter a situation where you wonder, "Just what is God doing in my life right now?" If you know me, and let's face it, you probably do if you are taking the time to read this, you know that I will freely admit to asking this question more than once (and sometimes more than once a day). Every now and again I have those days that end up being a perfect storm of old issues, problems, pain, and crisis. When that happens, I start to wonder just what God's plan is for all of it. I had one of those days yesterday. By the end of the day, I started to lose it. I can't be the only one that does this. Yesterday was a bit different though. Once I stopped and took the time to calm down a little bit I prayed a pray. The gist of it was "Dear Lord, I really hope you've got this, because right now I sure as heck don't."
On top of praying, I've been listening to this song quite a bit. I think it's pretty appropriate that this song is called Steady My Heart, because that is what it did for me yesterday. Of course, that wasn't all that happened.
I went to bible study last night and one of the scriptures we read through was Romans 8:28. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." That was not the first time I've heard this verse. I've heard messages on it and sang worship songs about it before. Although for some reason, I finally opened up my heart to internalize it yesterday.
So, is God really using ALL things for my good? The short answer is yes, but when I think about it, it's pretty amazing. Everything that is going on is all going to come together for God's perfect plan and purpose. This doesn't just mean the good stuff. No, it means everything. So, when people are freaking out at you, you have deadlines, people are sick, you find out that a person that took a machete to your heart was married over the weekend, or that person you have been trying to avoid lands right smack on your door step, you have to trust in God that there is a perfect plan in the works. I know this is easier said than done.
So, how can you survive and trust in God's plan when you feel like your life is just too crazy and out of control? Yesterday three things set me straight: Worship, Bible, and Prayer. Worship is pretty easy. For me, I put in some music like the song her and try to listen and internalize the message.
Once you do that, get out your bible and study it. If you don't have a bible, there are plenty of free sites and apps where you can read it there. Verses will pop out at you like Romans 8:28 and bring you peace. You may need help with this, so its important to have friends that you can call to help you through and point you to the right scriptures. I find that God tends to use people and situations to beat me over the head with certain messages. (If you check out www.biblegateway.com you'll see that Romans 8:28 is the verse of the day. Apparently it takes me longer than most to stop and listen.)
The last thing is prayer. I know this is touchy for some especially if you grew up Catholic like me and had to spend a lot of time memorizing prayers. One thing I've learned recently is that there is no right or wrong way to pray. My prayers are very real and almost conversational. I listen to others pray and they are much more eloquent. I used to be jealous of people who could pray like that, but I'm finding that it's more important to actually stop and take the time to pray than to worry about how eloquent you are doing it.
So, fast forward to this morning. I woke much more at peace. Although I don't know how the big picture is all going to come together, I spent today totally confident that everything is going to come together for good in God's time. Now, I just have to internalize some patience. But that my friends will be a different blog entirely.
Blessings until next time...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
When Your Month Comes In Like a Lion
I always thought that March was supposed to be the month that comes in like a lion. It turns out that January came in that way, and it’s not going out like a lamb at all.
In my last post, I affirmed that I would be dedicated in my evangelization, personal bible study, and taking care of myself in 2012. I set a workout schedule. I started a bible reading plan. I even vowed to make more time for blogging. It was all going to be perfect.
Then on January 7th, I received some news that turned my life on its head. I’m fine, but someone called me with some terrible news. I can’t post the details here, because their story is not mine to share, but I will tell you, I was angry, upset, and scared to death.
Now, the me that I was two years ago probably would have ended up in a ball in the corner crying and not knowing what to do. Granted, I really didn’t know what to do. So, I prayed. Now don’t get me wrong, I was still pretty pissed off. I asked a lot of questions. In particular, “Why the heck is God letting this happen?” Then in true form, I started to feel bad, because who the heck am I to question Father God like that.
Thankfully I have some good friends with a strong background in the bible. Thanks to one of those friends, I learned that I am not the only person who ever asked this question. I also learned that my question was alright. I just needed to continue to trust in God and pray. I know, it’s easier said than done, but try it once when you’re at your wits end and your world’s falling apart and see what happens.
I did something else that was completely uncharacteristic in this situation. I asked for help and prayers. Right away, I called and texted my closest friends. I emailed everyone that I knew who would offer up prayers for this person. I requested prayers in a status update on Facebook. I called people just to ramble and talk. So, instead of running and hiding, I sought out the people around me. I let them give me words of encouragement and pray with me.
Through that something pretty miraculous happened. I actually started to trust that God would fix the situation. Perhaps more importantly, I had the strength to deal with everything that was going on. Now, I will admit, I was pretty exhausted and didn’t sleep, but I was able to deal with everything was going on.
As if that was not enough, something else even more miraculous happened; I found out that the news I got was wrong. Again, I can’t share the exact details, but I will stress to you that if you are in a profession that requires you to write numbers and decimal points on reports, make sure you put them in the correct place and order. Just saying…
As the end of January is upon us, I wish I could report that my life was less stressful, and that I had all the answers for this person’s situation. Things are still up in the air, and it seems like every time this person gets one answer in life, it leads to about six or seven more questions. The insomnia still hits and it often happens at the most inopportune times. (If anyone ever needs a prayer buddy between 3am and 5am let me know, I may know someone ;) ) I don’t think my life will ever truly quiet down and be stress free. I do know two things though. God is with me through all of it, and I have some of the greatest friends in this world. It definitely makes the endless roller coaster of ups and downs much easier to bear.
Wishing everyone blessings. Until next time…
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year! Hello friends, it's been awhile
Hello friends! I'm jumping on the blogging bandwagon to wish everyone a very Happy and Blessed New Year. I also wanted to take a little time to talk about my resolutions for 2012.
First off, I have to tell you just how much I hate making resolutions. I usually start the year with very lofty goals and by January 15th I've fallen off the wagon and given up. I've been thinking a lot now, and I've realized that this year was probably going to be no different. About two and a half months ago I had the brilliant idea to start a sugar fast today. Without going into all the details, I came up with this idea to try to prove to someone that if I could quit sugar, she could quit smoking. It was really not my finest and most understanding moment(s). And really, since this blog is called Finding God, definitely not something that was putting me on the path of love and righteousness or a WWJD moment. So instead, I've tried to come up with a list of resolutions that will keep me on the path to Finding God in 2012.
I think one of the most important things I'd like to do is to stop being fearful about talking about my faith. When I first became a Christian, I was pretty much shouting it from the rooftops and talked about it to everyone that would listen. It was probably pretty annoying to some. I was really on fire, but then I started to get a little deflated when I didn't get the responses from people that I hoped for. Eventually, I didn't even begin to discuss the subject with some people. So, my first resolution is going to be to stop shying away from those opportunities to share my faith and my journey. I'll start here, and hopefully, if the opportunity comes up in the real world, I'll get that fire back. You may ask, "What's the point?" Well, to quote Matthew 28 "Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
This is a nice segue to resolution number 2, taking at least 15 minutes a day to study the bible. This has been pretty difficult in years past. In fact, this is one of the resolutions that fell by the wayside pretty early on in 2011. I'm going to be honest with you here. Reading the bible can be hard. Especially reading the Old Testament. I've started countless bible plans and have given up most of the ones revolving around the Old Testament, because I simply haven't gotten it. Unfortunately, the only way I'll be successful with resolution number 1 is to give it another go. This is pretty important, because I'm finding the people that have given me the most insight into my life when times have been tough are the ones that have been able to instantly recall a bible verse that pertains to my situation in the moment. I'm always in aww when someone does this, but I've come to realize they can do this, because they study. I've found a couple of pretty great bible studies that I go to now, and I will probably keep going. Now, I just need to do the work on my own at home too.
Resolution number three is probably going to be the toughest. I need to take better care of myself. If you know me well in real life, you have most likely given me grief at one point or another for living my job. I'm probably never going to stop doing that, because let's face it, I love my job. What's not to love? When you see a child begin to speak in full sentences after only saying single words or see a parent with tears in their eyes because they are watching their child do something for the first time, why wouldn't you want to live that every day of your life? Although I'm realizing that the only way I'm going to be able to do this for the next 30-40 years, I'm going to need to take better care of myself. Don't worry, I'm not sick myself, but I know quite a few people who are. So, I've come to realize, we only have one physical body, so we have to take care of it. This means skipping the cookies for breakfast and hitting the gym more than once a month when a wave of insomnia has hit. In the upcoming weeks, I'm going to come up with a routine and find a way to stick to it. I've been resistant, because this will probably mean being up and out very early in the morning. But, I have a feeling that if I start now, I'll be appreciative when I can still get out of bed and live my job every day when I'm 70. I also have to confess that if I do this for a couple of months and start feeling better, I'm really hoping that person that is still smoking will take notice of the positive changes and become motivated to make changes herself. Ok, I know that this is still not the most loving and understanding of motives, but at least, I'm not trying to make my point by outstubborning. I hope that counts for something.
I wish all of you the Happiest of New Years, and I pray that you will all be blessed in 2012.
First off, I have to tell you just how much I hate making resolutions. I usually start the year with very lofty goals and by January 15th I've fallen off the wagon and given up. I've been thinking a lot now, and I've realized that this year was probably going to be no different. About two and a half months ago I had the brilliant idea to start a sugar fast today. Without going into all the details, I came up with this idea to try to prove to someone that if I could quit sugar, she could quit smoking. It was really not my finest and most understanding moment(s). And really, since this blog is called Finding God, definitely not something that was putting me on the path of love and righteousness or a WWJD moment. So instead, I've tried to come up with a list of resolutions that will keep me on the path to Finding God in 2012.
I think one of the most important things I'd like to do is to stop being fearful about talking about my faith. When I first became a Christian, I was pretty much shouting it from the rooftops and talked about it to everyone that would listen. It was probably pretty annoying to some. I was really on fire, but then I started to get a little deflated when I didn't get the responses from people that I hoped for. Eventually, I didn't even begin to discuss the subject with some people. So, my first resolution is going to be to stop shying away from those opportunities to share my faith and my journey. I'll start here, and hopefully, if the opportunity comes up in the real world, I'll get that fire back. You may ask, "What's the point?" Well, to quote Matthew 28 "Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
This is a nice segue to resolution number 2, taking at least 15 minutes a day to study the bible. This has been pretty difficult in years past. In fact, this is one of the resolutions that fell by the wayside pretty early on in 2011. I'm going to be honest with you here. Reading the bible can be hard. Especially reading the Old Testament. I've started countless bible plans and have given up most of the ones revolving around the Old Testament, because I simply haven't gotten it. Unfortunately, the only way I'll be successful with resolution number 1 is to give it another go. This is pretty important, because I'm finding the people that have given me the most insight into my life when times have been tough are the ones that have been able to instantly recall a bible verse that pertains to my situation in the moment. I'm always in aww when someone does this, but I've come to realize they can do this, because they study. I've found a couple of pretty great bible studies that I go to now, and I will probably keep going. Now, I just need to do the work on my own at home too.
Resolution number three is probably going to be the toughest. I need to take better care of myself. If you know me well in real life, you have most likely given me grief at one point or another for living my job. I'm probably never going to stop doing that, because let's face it, I love my job. What's not to love? When you see a child begin to speak in full sentences after only saying single words or see a parent with tears in their eyes because they are watching their child do something for the first time, why wouldn't you want to live that every day of your life? Although I'm realizing that the only way I'm going to be able to do this for the next 30-40 years, I'm going to need to take better care of myself. Don't worry, I'm not sick myself, but I know quite a few people who are. So, I've come to realize, we only have one physical body, so we have to take care of it. This means skipping the cookies for breakfast and hitting the gym more than once a month when a wave of insomnia has hit. In the upcoming weeks, I'm going to come up with a routine and find a way to stick to it. I've been resistant, because this will probably mean being up and out very early in the morning. But, I have a feeling that if I start now, I'll be appreciative when I can still get out of bed and live my job every day when I'm 70. I also have to confess that if I do this for a couple of months and start feeling better, I'm really hoping that person that is still smoking will take notice of the positive changes and become motivated to make changes herself. Ok, I know that this is still not the most loving and understanding of motives, but at least, I'm not trying to make my point by outstubborning. I hope that counts for something.
I wish all of you the Happiest of New Years, and I pray that you will all be blessed in 2012.
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