In some ways, I feel my journey to Christianity was pretty long and boring. I didn’t have one of those dramatic conversion experiences that I’ve heard many people talk about. In fact, I actually had to ask someone how I would know if I was really a Christian. (Which I thank the wonderful instructors at my church’s Alpha class for not chuckling or batting an eye when I asked that one).
Before we get to where I’m at now, I think it’s important to understand how I got here. I’m not going to go over every single detail. My story overlaps with the story of other people in my life, and their stories are not mine to tell. So, I will give you the condensed version without leaving out any of the important details.
I spent a lot of my life searching and trying to fill that big God sized hole in my heart. I tried a lot of different things including yoga, reiki, Sanskrit meditation, therapy, self-helping readings, etc, but nothing worked. Some things would help for a little while, but eventually I would wind up miserable and depressed again.
Since none of those things worked, I threw myself into all the things that I thought a 20 something like myself should be doing at the time like getting married, going to grad school, buying a house, getting a good, stable job (I think you get the picture). Again, I still ended up miserable and depressed.
Fast forward to 2009, and finally everything had fallen apart. I ended up separated and living alone for the first time ever. This is when I first think God started to move in my life. I hate to say it, but I resisted for over a year. Finally in September 2010 I went to church. I was raised Catholic and had gone in and out of the faith throughout my adult life. This church was unlike anything I had ever really experienced. It was a place without judgment and condemnation. Now, I know that it was the first time I truly felt God’s love moving in my life.
I went back to the same church the next week, and they advertised a class called Alpha. I probably would have resisted or made excuses not to go, but they offered a meal and answers to questions about faith. I had nothing to lose. So, I went the first week and I loved it. I can’t say enough good things about the Alpha program, because it changed my life. The 10 week course was truly instrumental in my becoming a Christian.
Since that point, my life has changed. I have let go of so much anger and bitterness in my life. I forgave people that I once swore never to forgive. I’ve mended relationships that were once irreparable. I have a new job that I love that challenges me in ways I never thought possible. And most importantly, I realize that I had really had nothing to do with any of this. Yes, I mean that. If I would have kept doing and doing the way I once was, none of this ever would have happened. Everything I have done and achieved in the past year is because of God, and God is so good.
Now, I’m not saying that life is perfect, sunshine, and rainbows every single day. I still get upset and frustrated. I am also most certainly not even close to perfect. But, I finally know that I can do all things through Christ. That gives me the strength to get through each and every day. Now, I want to share my story with everyone that will listen.
